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Moving in Together

30 September, 2022

Today I start the process of moving in with my soon-to-be fiancé.

I really don't know how I feel about it, I'm kind of uncertain but I think that's ok. It's just a really big change! I've never lived with a girl in any kind of formal sense. There was one time in college that a girl basically moved herself in, but that didn't really last a long time, and it wasn't a super positive experience.

I think the number one thing that I'm thinking might be a point of contention, and I think I've brought it up a few times, is the idea that maybe there will be a sense that I'm moving into her space, and I'm causing problems. Like, I am taking over a space that she's been living in, and there is a defined "pattern of life" taking place that I might possibly interrupt. I don't think it's wrong to do that, but I don't know if it's going to cause contention or not.

Also, she sleeps with the dog on the bed, and I think I might be allergic to the dog. I may also just constantly be dehydrated, but sometimes I get a headache when I stay the night at her house, and I would feel really shitty if I woke up feeling like that every day.

But mostly I think I'm feeling a sense of my loss of independence.

Covey talks about the dependence -> independence -> interdependence cycle in his book "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" and I agree with his theories. Still, after living however I want for so long, it feels strange that I'm now going to be sharing a room with someone where everything is a negotiation and compromise. I don't think it's going to be that bad though, to be honest. I think that she's really understanding and has already started planning for how she will get up super early (I, as a good computer-person, get up at maybe 8am, she's up at 4) and not wake me up.

I don't know why I write these, they seem to help me process my thoughts. I am a mix of excited to live with her, but also a mix of nervous about how my life is changing. Perhaps I really am on a spectrum somewhere, given the amount that I resist change sometimes.

Maybe I'll come back and update this later if I have an update about how things went.

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